Saturday, December 26, 2009

19. :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Rasulullah s.a.w telah bersabda yang maksudnya:”Jika seorang hamba Allah kematian anak, Allah bertanya kepada Malaikat:”Adakah kamu telah mengambil nyawa anak hamba-Ku? Malaikat menjawab:”Ya.” Allah bertanya lagi: “Kamu telah mengambil nyawa buah hatinya?” Malaikat menjawab:”Ya”. Allah bertanya kali ketiga:”Apakah kata hamba-Ku?”Malaikat menjawab:”Ia bersyukur pada-Mu serta mengucapkan “dari Allah kita datang dan kepadanya kita kembali”. Allah Ta’ala memerintahkan malaikat-Nya:”Binalah baginya sebuah rumah di syurga dan namakan rumah itu ‘Rumah Kesyukuran’.”

( at-Tirmidzi dan Ibnu Hibban )

13 years, and we still miss you.


Thursday, December 17, 2009

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

I'm Sorry. Truly am. <3

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.
Happy 43rd Birthday Mommy.
I Love You. <3

p/s: sorry post lmbat, internet's been terrible. :S

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

From Mansoura to Cairo.
From Cairo to Istanbul.
From Istanbul to Bursa.
From Bursa to Pamukkale.
From Pamukkale to Konya.
From Konya to Aksaray.
From Aksaray to Ankara.
From Ankara to Bolu.
From Bolu to Istanbul.
And then back to Cairo and then Mansoura.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

its winter.
and nothing beats a cup of hot coffee and good company.
and am hoping i get to go to turkey and they'll come to egypt straight from turkey.

and the creepy taxi driver might know where i live now.
i'm never gonna be in a taxi alone anymore.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

today is the 1st.
which means i have 4 days left.
so much to do, so little time.

the guy from best denki didn't call me, though he promised that he would.
so i had ayah call them and ask because i need my ipod. very sooon.
and they said they didnt know if my ipod would be ready by today.
which part of 'i need my ipod before wednesay because i'm going off soon' did you not understand?
mom said most probably they didn't know what was really wrong with my ipod.
true. the other day the repair guy called me and said 'your ipod is perfectly fine, miss. nothing wrong at all'.
technology repels me. my laptop, my handphone, my camera, even my watch.
you name it.
something IS wrong and i know it.
why would i not use my ipod for more than 6 months then?
please, do get it fixed.
that's 80 gb of my life we're talking about.

and i have started packing, due to my parents' constant reminder.
i've stuffed in basically everything,
except for a few pair of jeans, some shirts, chargers and some toiletries.
and shoes.
i weighed the smaller bag for check in, and it was 15 kgs.
AFTER i unstuffed some food and told mom to send it to me later together with my baju kurung.
so now i have to come up with a few options, because i don't think ayah would be very happy having to pay another 5++ or 9++ for extra baggage.

option 1 :
unpack all food items and go as anorexic as possible.

option 2 :
hang shoes around my neck, carry bags on both my shoulders and wear layers of clothes.

option 3 :
buy another seat and place a fish in a ziploc on the seat so that i'll get another 40 kg luggage allowance.

mcm mana? :S

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.

They are the silent language of grief.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And 'til we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The I wish's.

1. I wish that I was skinny, pretty, and tall.
2. I wish I don't shop that much and spend my money on less money-consuming things like tissues.
3. I wish I could eat seafood every day and have crabs for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
4. I wish Snow White wore a different gown and Cinderella would wear her hair down.
5. I wish I could fly to Disneyland whenever I feel sad or lonely.
6. I wish I understand what animals are saying. Moo must mean smtg, right?
7. I wish cats don't scratch and animals are less scary.
8. I wish I have a lot of money so that I would be a guilt-free shopper.
9. I wish acne is a sticker dentists give instead of smtg that grows on your face or on your back.
10. I wish I could have a lion or a polar bear for a pet.
11. I wish ppl would understand that love is not just for boyfriends/girlfriends.There's a whole lot more to it.
12. I wish there are no such thing as light pollution.
13. I wish people would judge less and care more.
14. I wish leaving is a good thing and not one where people cry and be miserable about.
15. I wish homesick was a chocolate frog.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

what you see is not what you will always get, honey.
selalunye kita sngat lupa dan lalai dan tak perasan ape yang ada di depan mata smpai benda tu hilang.
bila dah hilang, baru lah nak meratap.
tapi bila dah terjadi, amik kotak tisu ni, lap air mata tu.
tak pun menangis lah diam2 dalam gelap tu smpai tertidur.
kalau tak, menangis masa tgh mandi.meraung pun takda sape dengar kan?
it makes you feel a whole lot better, kan?
hati rasa sakit?
ambil sekotak hansplast ni, tampal dekat hati tu.
tak berkesan?
lets move on to plan b then.
nak sedapkan hati sendiri, put the blame on someone else.
tunding jari dekat si polan ni, beritahu satu dunia si polan tu yang bersalah.
bina shield setebal yang mungkin agar diri sendiri tak akan dipersalahkan.
we always tell ourselves what we want ourselves to believe, but not the truth.
because the truth always does.
okay so i have been studying abdomen these few days that i can not look at it any more.
at one point, my head went black and i couldnt think of anything but chicken rice and cempedak goreng so i cooked lunch and watched the notebook and cried my heart out.
then i sat on the balcony, counted planes and stars and watched the clouds go by.
i waited for soraya to call and she did, at 12.
we went to welatin and laughed and talked and it felt good.
it felt like it was a really long time since i had a good laugh.
decided to walk back home since we were stuffed and came across this awesome pharmacy.
it felt like we were in cairo.
sat for more than an hour, rumagged through all the shelves and went excited and giddy.
ended up buying a body mist and face mask.
when we got home, it was 4 in the morning.
dyed shabs and soraya's hair and by 7, we were so sleepy that we slept till it was 3.
went for lunch and tea at baron and now its 2.39 in the morning.
i just finished my crepe *parts of it anyways*, am listening to pls dont stop the music, camwhoring alone with the webcam and i can hear the books screaming at me.
fish u spleen, kejap lah.gimme another 5 minutes. sighs.

oooh and it is true.ignorance is bliss and goodbyes are hold on tight to whatever you have right now.

p/s : what happens when you miss someone you really shouldnt?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Happy 43rd Birthday, Ayah. I love you lottsss.

And have a safe journey Mommy and Mak Teh. I love both of you very much.

I got bored of my bedsheet so bought a new bedsheet with Shabs. It's Egyptian Cotton and it's unbelievably cheap. We got it for 50 genih when they sell the exact same one in Malaysia for RM400. Strike one for Egypt! Haha.

Along with the excitement of the new bedsheet, I cleaned the whole room. Rearranged stuffs, swept the floors, tidied the clothes, lap sini, lap sana, did a whole week's laundry and basically is now happy with the room. I wanted to buy new carpet, a floor-length mirror and a chest but will have to wait for Pika which means another 2 months, more or less.

And then I changed my ticket so iA will be coming home on the 15th of September, by Gulf Air. So far the plan is to go mandi and tukar baju at Atok's place or rumah and then straight away to KLCC shopping and then berbuka and all. But then Soraya said, will probably get too tired and balik terus tidur. Haha, will see how it goes. Ohh, can't wait to come back home.

Ohhh and after all the excitement of mengemas rumah, I am now down with sorethroat and flu. Oh and did I mention that we do not have a window, so basically dust is everywhere. And its Egypt, so its double or triple the amount of dust. And, Baba's renovating his store upstairs. The drilling, hammering, shouting, saw dusts, cements and all tidak membantu langsung proses baik pulih ini. Sighs. My head is so heavy I feel like I'm walking in a cemented helmet and the small annoying penyek thing is now blocked. Stuffed. Geli? Seberat-berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul. And I miss the company. Everyone's back in Malaysia, or at home, refusing to go out because of the weather. Come laah, lets go out or something. I thought summer was supposed to be fun?

Haih. Can I get a Happy Meal with a strawberry sundae and a big bear hug? *hachoo* ooh, and another box of Kleenex please?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I have gone back to basics.
It is now black.
Okay, not entirely black.
There's still shades of browns here and there.
But still.
It's like when I was in Form 3.
Ohh, the good old times.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'll have to make this work somehow.
Or I'll have to reconsider other options.
Dear Lord, help me.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I think I might have to hold a garage sale soon.
Anyone interested?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Tok Long passed away.
I'm gonna miss you.
Especially during the visits to Tanjung Malim.

Al-Fatihah. :(

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Sorry I haven't been blogging for a while.
Been busy. ;)
Right after Oral Histo, Yuya, Titi and I went to Cairo.
City Stars and Hussein, Khan El Khalili.
Just us girls.
Left for Cairo early in the morning and left Cairo for Mansoura around 9.
Shopping was awesome. :D

And then we had BBQ.
Me, Yuya, Titi, Mye, Anis, Quya, Uci, Fah, Pute', and Azzyati.
Ikan bakar, air asam, coleslaw, mashed potatoes, fried rice, beef, hotdog.
All manually made.
Though it took 2 hours to start the fire, I would say it was a success.
Ate until everyone stopped eating, sat and talked and ate again.
All night until dawn.
Talked, camwhored, singing, just being silly and having fun.
We should do it more often.
What say you?

The next day, we were up for a surprise birthday party for Uci.
Kononnye 'ter'jumpe dekat Pizza Party.
At 12, they brought out the cake and we were singing and laughing and did not want to end the night yet.
So everybody crashed at our place.
We watched 'The Unborn' and was screaming and laughing and basically slept at 6.
Happy Birthday Uci! :)

Tomorrow's our last paper, English.
We'll start studying kejap lagi.
Hope everyone scores for English.

And then, it's time to go jalan-jalan and have more fun. ;)

Friday, June 26, 2009

I got what I wanted.
Thank you Ayah. :)
I am gonna clarify things.
Right here, right now.
My status on YM about getting married was a joke between me and Yuya and somehow, by accident, I went from invisible to available and didn't notice it.
Omar is my landlord's son who likes to scream and shout at odd hours like 2 in the morning.
So yes.
Saya belum mahu berkahwin.
Mungkin tidak akan berkahwin dalam masa terdekat ni.
InsyaALLAH beberapa tahun akan dtang nanti.
Tidak mempunyai calon.
Sedang jatuh cinta.
Tapi bukan dengan orang.
Dengan benda-benda yang tidak hidup.
Seperti kasut, beg dan lipbalm.
So please ignore benda-benda tu semua.
Itu hanya gurauan semata-mata dan tiada kene mengena antara yang hidup atau yang telah tiada.
So please don't come up to me and say Congratulations.
Sekian, harap maklum.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hari ni sngat lah panas.
Like when I woke up, I immediately took a shower and didn't want to get out.
Kalau boleh nak berendam, but then baru teringat.
I have Histology exam tomorrow.

So then I studied and sometime after Asar, I got tired and sleepy.
Honestly, the heat somehow has a way of making people sleepy.
So I slept and basically woke up after 10 minutes.
The frustrating part?
It happened for two hours.
And at six, I started feeling cranky because I needed the sleep.
I wanted to sleep. Badly.
But had to wake up because I was sweating like mad.
It was as if I just ran across a desert at noon.

And, the best part was, my lipbalm melted.
Yes, my lipbalm, yang baru beli hari tu and baru pakai sekali, melted.
It was in a tub, and no, I didn't put it beside the laptop mcm hari tu.
Oh, baru teringat kene balik rumah lama and amik lipbalm masukkan dlam fridge hari tu.
Anyways, yes. It melted.
To the point that it was almost batter-like and bila nak pakai, dia menitik2.
I refrigerated it and now it's normal-looking again and tastes good.
Yay me! Hahah.

I ordered CookDoor for dinner and told the guy to bring change for 100.
The guy even had it printed on the receipt and the delivery guy had the guts to tell me nobody told him and even suggested that I wait while he goes to a shop because he had no change.
Dapat pulak nak trust you with 100 genih and not run away with my money.
After arguing and him muttering swear words under his breath while thinking that I-do-not-understand-him-but-I-do-and-was-actually-refraining-myself-from-kicking-or-at-least-swearing-back-at-him, Yuya gave me 40 and he returned my change. Tak cukup 50 sen.
While I was counting, he ran down the stairs.
Yes, ran.
Ok, fine, he did not run.
He fled down the stairs and into the lift.
Amik lah 50 sen tu, pergi beli Chixo. * a Cadbury version of Choki Choki*

Oh, and hopefully I can withdraw money tomorrow.
Am gonna buy that thing I want and no Low, am not gonna buy a canggih-canggih one so that sampai naik juling mata kau tengok.
Oh, and am in the mood for a new lipbalm.
Hopefully everything's well tomorrow with exam and all.

Ya Tuhanku, lapangkanlah untukku dadaku, Dan mudahkanlah untukku urusanku.

Two of our housemates have gone back to Malaysia for the summer break.
So that leaves only the two of us here in this house.
Have a safe journey you guys.
Dan juga kepada yang lain-lain yang dah nak balik.

Lots of love from Mansoura.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy Father's Day, Ayah.

You have been, you are and you will always be the one I look up to.

Thank you for everything.

I love you so very much.

Angkat barang, 2nd trip.
Thank you Arif and Husni.
Jasa kalian di kenang.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Terima kasih.
Seikhlas hati, terima kasih banyak-banyak.
Wak, Boboy, Bob, Aceng, Fikri, Muawiyah, Luth, Syamil, Rahman, Farid and Titi.
Turun 5 tingkat dengan berbeg-beg dan berkotak-kotak.
Satu beg bukan setakat 5kg.
Lebih rasenye.
Adalah dalam 40 kg kot beg yang kecik tu.
Yang besar, you do the math. ;)
Tapi betul lah, ingatkan ada byak lagi masa dah smpai bawah tu.
Terima kasih banyak-banyak.
Tuhan saja dapat membalasnya.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Biyanan.
Kesian birthday boy kene angkat barang.
Nanti claim Snickers Cruncher ye.
Hadiah hari jadi.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

We were supposed to move in to the new house last Monday but it's already Wednesday today and I have exam on Friday.
And another one on the 25th.
Pika and Naz is going back on the 26th.
Dear Baba, cepat lah sikit.
Time is running out.

Oh, and something's wrong with my phone.
It has been on roaming mode for the last 3 days.
I can't make any phone calls or send any text messages.
The worst part is, I can't even receive phone calls and text messages.
Hmm, a new phone, perhaps?

Monday, June 15, 2009

I am confused, angry, frustated and dissapointed.
Yes, I am.
Very, in fact.

Where are you when I need you?
Cepat lah. :(

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

It has been a while since we last ate at GMN and everyone was not in the mood to cook so we decided to have lunch at GMN.
I am honestly worried sick for Physiology.
Very very very worried.
So we were eating when Shabs came in with Asadah and Soraya and it wasn't until they sat with us that I noticed Asadah's jeans.
Its exactly the same pair of jeans I have and left at home.
And due to the awesome combination of imbalanced hormones, summer heat, starvation, exam stress and the frustation of trying to memorize immunity, I found myself missing home.
It was as if I was in my room, looking out the window, and everything was just surreal.
The bed, the closet, the chest by the window, the bathroom, the mirrors, the carpet, everything.
And it felt like I could just walk out the room and walk around the familiar house and expect familiar faces and voices around me.
And then reality hit.
At least lagi 2 bulan baru boleh balik okay? Sila berpijak di bumi nyata sekarang juga sebelum anda terbang jauh, mengelamun dan membiarkan saja buku Physio itu di situ.
It's silly how a pair of jeans can have that much effect.
Maybe it's this place.
Then again, maybe it's just me.
I was having lunch with Izzah yesterday when she said something to me.
Something never in a million years would I ever thought of.
Then it hit me that it might be true.
And it boggled my mind all day yesterday.

''Look, I like you for who you are, just the way you are and I don't need you to change. In fact, I don't want you to change. I don't need you to be *. Honestly, I don't want you to. Sila tafsir betul2 semua yang telah berlaku, and you'll get it. There's more to it than what you think.''

Blurgh. If only I could go up to him and say it in his face.

And seriously, I cant stand looking at books anymore. Especially Physiology. Wanna know why?

Because I feel like throwing up. Honestly, I do. Dah pening tgok buku2 ini. Dah penat. Dah mual.
Tinggal rasa nak muntah dan pengsan bersama2 timbunan buku ni.

"Dear God, help me. Give me strength. I need to do this. I have to make this work somehow."
Or, bak kata Dora, I'll die trying.

Monday, June 8, 2009

We were studying, when Naz started googling.
Of all the things google-able, guess what she googled.
Mona Fandey.
Yes, THE Mona Fandey.
Apparently, she's on Wikipedia.
That's how popular she is.
Apparently, she was a pop singer at one point, managed to record an album, and has this one hit single, 'Ratapan Anak' and it's on Youtube.
Seriously, the video was creepy.
Naz posted a link and wrote

''Adakah tahap keberanian anda tinggi? Sila buka.''

And she sent a picture of her when she was on trial to Izzah and Yuya's phone, insisting that she put that as their wallpaper.
And guess who shouted at 12.30 in the morning?
All of us.
So much for late night entertainment.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Oh and thank you Nazeera Nasir for the new layout.
Seriously, thank you.
To say that I am not dissapointed would be an utter lie.
But it would be very selfish of me to not let you guys go.
I hope you guys had fun.
I love you all very much.
Maybe it's just all the exam stress.
And the fact that I want to go home so very badly.
I am not a shopaholic.
Neither do I come from a family where money is not an object.
It's just that when I do buy something, it makes me feel better.
A whole lot better.
Be it a pair of shoes, bags, clothes or just an ice-cream,
shopping is like a therapy.
Seriously, it is.

I do not cry without a reason.
I cry when I am feeling sad, down, discouraged, mad or simply scared.
When it feels unbearable.
I do not cry because I want the attention.
I cry because when I do, it washes a bit of the pain.

Do not tell me that I do not want it bad enough.
Or that I am not working as hard as you are.
Or that I do not deserve it.
Because you do not know anything.
At least not yet. :)

Anyways, Physio exam is in 7 days, exactly a week. And I haven't been studying as hard as I should. They are all in Japan for the holidays. And I did not know until last night, the day before they're coming back home. Yeah, I love you guys too. Pfft.

Ohh, the other day one of my housemate was studying with bones and she took permanent markers and started drawing muscle insertion and all when another hosemate of mine asked,

''eh, takpe ke kau conteng tulang tu dengan marker?''

and guess what she answered?

''hmm.entah lah, tapi aku rasa lah kan, aku rasa lah, tulang ni tak payah amik air smyang.''

so, yeah.
and the other day, W wanted to take photos with X, to compare skin colours.

W : jom lah, satu gambar je.
X : no.
W : boleh lah. it's for my own collection.
X : no.
W : i'm recording this, you know.
X : s**t, nmpak! saje je kan?

Then, all of a sudden,

Y : Kalau aku masuk, mesti aku kat tengah2 kan?

One word Y, pffffffft.
Anyways, we retold the story to Z and A.

Z : tak baik lah, habis tu kalau aku, dekat mane?
Y : kau tgh gayut phone mase tu.
W,X,A : huh?
Z : bukan, kalau aku masuk, aku dekat mane?
Y : kau tgh gayut phone lah mase tu.
W,X,A : Oi, kau ni kenape?
Y : aku faham.haha.

The conclusion here is, we, by the day, scratch that. By the second, are getting more and more insane. But most definitely we are loving every second of it.

Oh, the people I love.

One who hates aborigin people, bad English, zits, wants to get hot ASAP, and wants nothing more than to be home, an SLR camera and likes someone never-in-a-million-years-would-she-fall-for-but-did-eventually. Sometimes is extra sweet saying stuff like ''aku sayang kau'' and when she's not in the mood and you try saying that, she'll be '' What did you do? What did you break?'' and is a philosopher-in-the-making.

Another one who seems to be the only one who likes Miley Cyrus and the another-mountain-song in the house, trying to learn the guitar, addicted to Best juices, always in front of the laptop and is now being called a rempit by Naz.

The big sister who really knows how to cheer people up, had a pedal-feast the other day, always up for delivery or just jalan-jalan when we're bored, always there to listen, knows how to have fun and still work hard for what she wants and a firm believer of herself and always have a way of making us happy and trust me, seeing her laugh is contagious. I rolled on the floor at 5 in the morning, crying as I laughed too hard. Oh, and don't ask what were we laughing about.

And the bubbly one who always does random things and say random stuffs. Always up for shopping, movies and chocolates. Very funny and sweet and always perasan as the ''budak kampung''. Pfft. Cyberjaya bukan kampung okay? And is being bahan-ed as the Mawi fan, mainly because she's from Johore and adalah sbb satu benda ni. She's part Bugis and if it isn't for her, I wouldnt know what Burasak, mandre or lalek menggali-gali means. Oh, and she basically reads my minds at times and sometimes, writes it on my wall on Facebook. :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

In loving memory :

Allahyarham Tuan Haji Abdullah.

You will always be in my hearts and prayers.
Your strength and courage throughout the years have been my inspiration.
Your passion towards education and the nation will always be remembered.
Your love and care for us all will be cherished.
Your last words to me when you were on your deathbed is still playing on the back of my head.
Again and again.
I still remember watching you fight even when others have lost hope.
I remember holding your cold hands and whispering to you and not knowing that it was the last time you'd hear me.
The next time I saw you, less than an hour after that,you have left us all.
I couldnt cry, because a part of me was still in shock.
Along the ride back home and throughout the day,it still felt unreal.
You should be in you room, sleeping.
Or at the kitchen, having dinner.
Or at the living room, reading the newspaper.
But then, reality hit me.
I watched with my own eyes, how they brought you back in that white van.
I helped prepare the bed for you one last time.
I didn't want to see you before they brought you away.
I hate goodbyes.
But when they called me, I hesitantly approached.
Looking at your face that day, I still remember, you looked so calm.
It felt like nobody else was in the room.
And when I kissed you for the last time, I knew that was goodbye.
And when Erra moved aside after that, that was the last time we'd see you, Onyang.

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku,
Cucuri rohnya dengan rahmat dan tempatkannya dalam kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

Segala puji bagi Allah yang telah mengilangkan dukacita dari kami. Sesungguhnya Tuhan kami benar-benar Maha Pengampun Lagi Maha Mensyukuri.


Yuya and Pika's room is like our little home now.
We do basically everything in here.
Sleep, chat, eat, talk, surf the net, study.
So yeah it has become very cosy now.
You can find blankets and pillows everywhere, even on the floor.
Notes and book and highliters and laptops.
Skulls, skeletons, microscope, stetothoscope.
The funny thing is, when one of us studies, the rest will follow to.
If one of us starts to pray, everybody does the same.
One goes to the kitchen and starts cooking and the next, everyone's at the kitchen cooking too.
One falls asleep in the afternoon, all four do too.
Izzah came in because apparently studying alone made her feel sleepy.

So we have been talking and studying and laughing and basically just enjoying each other's company and mind you, we might only have less than a month left to spend with Izzah.
Among the topics we came across tonight :

  • How we can make Nasyid better and score more hits at Youtube. By inserting awesome dance moves and so everyone started making weird dance moves and we had a blast laughing.
  • Dreams and what it might mean.
  • Nabi Yusuf
  • Once everyone's back in Malaysia, the five of us will meet up and spend a whole week going out. Satay, malls, movie, camping.
  • Pika reminded me that I once told her that I wanted to spend a day at the new OU and go check out as many shops possible. Might do it with Izzah.
  • Wanted to go to Bandung but then it might be hard because apparently holiday's not that long.
  • Cheap airline tickets.
  • How to judge your own a**.
  • Exercise for the butt.
  • Romantic stories.
  • Learn Mandarin in 5 minutes.
  • Renaming names in Mandarin.
  • And without noticing, how to appreciate each other. ;)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

10 Sebab Mengapa Saya Sayang Nazeera Nasir :
  1. dia bukan sahaja cantik dan peramah, malah baik hati
  2. dia selalu buatkan mac and cheese atau egg sandwhich bila kami lapar
  3. dia tidak kisah berkongsi sayur masa makan malam
  4. dia selalu stay up dengan saya
  5. bila saya sedih, nanti die buatkan banana split
  6. dia guna syampu yang sama mcm saya
  7. saya boleh bercerita dengan dia.dia akan dengar
  8. bila balik malaysia nnt, dia nak bawa kami jalan-jalan
  9. sebab die Nazeera Nasir
  10. sebab dia buatkan blog baru ni.

p/s: saya memang sayang kamu lah nazeera.i'll pray for you and you-know-who and your finals. ;)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Being a professor with 4 PhDs and earning half a million a month doesn't make you always right and the right to make the world revolve around you.

The saying "aku dah makan garam dulu" doesnt mean that whatever you say, think or do is the best for everyone.

An old beggar who wears ragged clothes, haven't showered in god-knows-how-long, eats bits and crumbs of mouldy bread and walks bare footed with his dry cracked heels may say something wiser than a 80 year old mahaguru who is well known over whatevertopia kingdom.

When a 8 year-old kid says something to you, it doesn't mean it is of less importance.

It doesnt mean what he says is merely the thinking of an 8 year old.

People who goes to college or university may succeed in whatever major they're taking, but no guarantess they will in the school of life.

Ini bukan sindiran untuk sesiapa, it is a reminder, to myself, most importantly.

To never look at who is doing the talking, but the point he is trying to deliver.

One of the things I've learnt over the years is that to never judge a book by its cover.

Haha.Cliche I know, but it's true.

Because first impressions are not always right.


Or at least for me, that is.

Anyways Biochem exam is just 4 days away.Manchester lagi 8 hari.

Jadi bahangnya dah terasa.

Oh jantung, jangan pecah lagi.

Like this morning, when I woke up, they were all studying and it was 10 in the morning.I immediately woke up and started studying. I managed answering a question and was too sleepy to concentrate and went back to sleep. When I woke up, everone was hungry and we ordered Hadaral Maut. Yes, we asked for DELIVERY. Haha.Anyone who needs numbers for delivery, Cook Door, Mo'men, Brema, Pizza King or even Metro, call us. Haha.

Fah is at our place now, reminiscing their Maktab Mahmud days with Pika. She was doing a survey for PCM, wanting to know who is not going back for summer break. Thinking about it, I am a bit worried since the last time I checked for ticket availability online, tickets left are mainly business class. And Izzah just found out that instead of going back on the 5th, she has to go back on the 8th because the flight was fully booked. And Mommy and Ayah wants me back for Ramadhan.

And now I am having second thoughts about buying the internet modem.
Oh, and I want otak2 too.Anyone care to Fed Ex it to Egypt for me? ;)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Hari ni dah 21 Mei.
Saya tak ingat lah exact tarikh die bile.
Tapi kalau tak salah, dlam lingkungan mase ini lah bende tu terjadi.
Ingatkan bende ni hal remeh je.
Takde kesan ape2 pun.
Come on lah, orang laen senang je nak move on.
Ini mungkin belum lagi.
Cuma sekadar maen2.
Sedar tak sedar,dah setahun rupanye.
Perasaan tu dah takde.
Nak kata sakit hati, tak jugak.
Benci? Lagi lah tak.
Geram tu, ade sikit kot.
Tapi yang selebihnye mengharapkan awak sihat sekrang.
Bahagia, dpat masuk tempat yang awak nak tu.
Pergi kejar cita2 awak.
Semoga dpat apa yang di kejarkan.
Dan semoga awak sentisa dilindungi Tuhan. :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I just finished Oral Anatomy exam just now. Together with Practical Anatmomy and Written Anatomy. So basically I'm done with Anatomy *at least for now* .
Oral exam was unbelievaby. Very brief. And his first question was,
''Where did you buy your watch?''
Hearing that, I laughed and relaxed a bit. The doctor was nice. Very nice. I like him. ;)

Next paper is Written Biochemistry, on the 28th May, which means that I have a week to go all out and study Biochemistry.
Which, I will.
Yes people,
I will.

Ayah has been texting me and asking how I am since I haven't talked to them for a while. Haven't been IM'ing with Mommy and my messages on Facebook arent that long either. So I get that they are worried with what's been happening and all. I wanted to call, but somehow the internet connection has been bad and I can't call. Sorry Mommy and Ayah to worry you guys.

Since it's already May and Naz and Pika will be going back to Malaysia in June and most probably Yuya and I will be going back before Ramadhan or mid Ramadhan and will come back sometime in November, we had to find a new house because juniors are coming in and we decided not to stay at the house we're leaving at. Knocking from door to door, street by street, in the middle of summer is not our idea of house hunting, so decided to use a broker instead. We wanted a house with four bed rooms and after much persuading and argumenting, he showed us a house next to GMN. All the way up at the rooftop. Luckily they have a lift. The house is still under construction, buit it looks nice with it having tiles, a nice kitchen, nice bathroom, spacious rooms and big balcony, we agreed, even though that meant that Pika and I will be sharing the same room and the rent is 1400 LE a month. Abg Nan helped sealed the deal and while waiting for the Baba, who is a Tok Kadi, agree to rent the house with us, we were there to see a couple get married. Nothing like us Malaysians. No fancy dresses, dolled up bride,cameramen with big a*s cameras and families around. Just the couple, clad in jeans and shirt and a camera phone. InsyaALLAH will be moving in by mid June.Hope all goes well.

Ayah called the other day and talked to him for a while and then Mommy went online and chatted for a while. Dapat lah lepas rindu sikit. They want me to be back by the start of Ramadhan, tapi tak tahu lagi lah mcm mane. Tgok dulu.

''Jangan nak surprise2 Mommy ngan Ayah, balik tak nak bagi tahu.Tgok2 kitorang pergi Bandung, raya shopping ke ape, baru tahu nnt.''

Yes ma, will tell you the instance my flight ticket is confirmed. :)

Anyways, although we are all excited about going back to Malaysia and moving, I can't help but feel sad because that means that we will be leaving Izzah.

''Allah, depan block je. Bukan jauh mane pun.'' you may say. But Izzah is like a big sister we all never had. We can tell her anything. anything. And she'll be there for us, like a big sister. She cooks for us whenever we're hungry, talks to us when we're feeling down, wipes our tears when we're crying and does things that a sister would. I'll definitely miss the screaming and laughing and delivering food bile malas nak masak moments. And her. :(

Ohhh and due to exam stress, my housemates are going insane.
You would agree if you see the stuffs we say and do.
Its okay, I love them anyways. :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Happy Mother's Day
I love you.

Thanks for every single thing.
For always being there for me.
I think this is the first Mother's Day we ar
e not celebrating together.
No fancy cards.
No midnight wishes.
No dinner or lunch together.
No presents.
But it's okay,

You're always in my dreams and prayers.
You take care okay, Mommy.
I miss you.
Cliche, I know.
But you're the best mom on
e can hope for.

i've been crying a lot these past few days.
trust me, A LOT.
the other day, it was because i felt somehow very sad,down and under pressure.
then it was because i felt like someone was trying to avoid me.
and yesterday was the climax of it all.
Faisal's leaving us.
yeah,he's going back to Malaysia for good so we basicallt cried out hearts out.
and for me,somehow it felt better to let it all out.
cried for god knows how long and dah ramai yang nmpak.
after dinner ramai2,went home and decided to sleep since my head was pounding, pressure jatuh and kepale rase berat yang teramat sngat.
i went to bed at 11 but kept tossing and turning and finally did sleep at around 1.
but then i had all sorts of dreams and kept waking up and sleeping back meant another dream.
one was about faisal, about the four of us, arif, a gathering like the one we had at gmn just now, but a place i cant recall then it was something about my family back home.
waking up every hour and having weird dreams isn't exactly my idea of f good night's sleep.
rosal left me a missed call at around 2 but definitely was not in the mood to talk.
and i called him at 9.
so yeah.
by 3, i just couldnt stand it anymore and decided not to sleep.
naz was still awake, she just finished editing her blog and was all excited showing me her new layout.
but me still stoned, tired,restless and sleepy wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
it's awesome naz.i love it. :)
so yeah, arif, muaz and a few others are gonna try persuading his parents to let him stay.
or at least sit for the finals.
am really hoping he'll stay.
because he's more than a friend to us.
more like a brother.
without him,it'll be dysfunctional family-1.
things just wouldn't be the same without you.
you're like a rock we all lean on and hold on tight to.
no matter how emotionally unstable we get, you're always there to point things out to us.
it just wouldn't be the same.
what if i get my heart broken again?
what if we lose faith?
what if one day we miss you so badly?
there is just so many what if's.
i know fadzil said ' setiap pertemuan ade perpisahan',
and abg nan and azam said this might be the best for you.
but still. :(

''not anytime soon.''
''i'll wait for him at the airport when you guys come back for summer break.''
whats that suppose to mean,cye?
we need you.
i need you.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

things have been hectic.and crazy.and fun.and weird.
but things always happen for a reason.

it's always the darkest before dawn. :)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

hari tu dah elok demam.
beberapa hari saya bersuka ria.
balik dari Nusan semalam,
lepak di tangga dengan Yuya.
pukul 11.30,rasa mcm dah terlmpau sejuk.
saya ajak Yuya naek,balik rumah.
smpai di rumah,terus rase mcm nak demam.
pukul 12 dah tidur.
awal tersangat-sangat.
sepanjang malam meringkuk,
sbb terlampau sejuk.
sampai 2 lapis selimut.
bgun jam 6 pagi.
kepala rasa berat,
tekak rase lain.
Yuya ngan Naz ade kat luar.
Yuya buat sarapan,
French Toast.
makan sekeping,tapi tak lalu.
makan ubat,
tukar seluar,
berselubung kembali.
terjage balik jam 1.
Naz kejut ajak makan.
nak duduk rumah.
rase mcm dah okay.
buka facebook,check email,berchatting.
turun ambil photostat soalan past years.
balik, Yuya masak nasi.
buat la sup ayam.
tapi tak habes.
tgok ayam tu pun rase nak termuntah.
bila makan,tak payah ckp la.
dah cuba abiskan,tapi tak dpat.
akhirnye terpaksa buang nasi dan sup ayam.
tidur balik,
mintak tolong Yuya kejutkan untuk smyang Maghrib.
banyak kali Yuya kejut,
tapi tak larat nak bangun.
akhirnye bila smue orang da balik,
dan Naz pun da masuk kejutkan sembahyang,
bangun untuk sembahyang.
tapi sekarng ni da rase feverish balik.
exam finals tak smpai seminggu lagi.
macam mana ni?

Saturday, April 11, 2009


That's why I haven't been blogging this few days.

Sekian, harap maklum.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Hari ni kene marah. Because I am not studying hard enough.


Slaps self very hard.


Tapi bak kate Zan, "macam mane kalau saye mati lemas dalam timbunan buku-buku ni?''

Haih.Here goes.
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

Friday, April 3, 2009

It's 6.18 in the morning and no,it's not dark.
I havent slept yet, because it was one heck of a night.

I made su'un,but something, somehow, somewhere went wrong and it didnt taste good. My cooking's not that awful, my housemates are still breathing after 7 months of having to eat what I made them every Thursday. But then, maybe it was just the other half of me, the one who wanted pizza so badly.

I called Faisal and askedif he wanted to go to Pizza King, a local pizza parlor, but he had a semayang hajat thing going on so we decided to go some other time. While trying to eat my so-called-meal, I just couldnt eat it and decided to go to Pizza Hut since we can just take a cab and it'll be way safer rathar than walking along dark alleys and Galak. So I went with Pika, yes, just the two of us. I wanted Stuffed Crust Pizza so badly, I didn't mind having a regular pizza, since they dont have personal pizza's for stuffed crust. I didn't finish it. Brought it home. Decided to go to Nike and Caj since Pika's looking for a birthday present for someone. Nothing interesting in Nike and Caj was closed. Went back home.

Yuya and Pika have been wearing kain batik for a couple of nights, and Naz usually goes to bed in one. So took out my mom's kain batik and insisted that Naz teach me how to wear it. Pika came out and we started playing with the kain batik. Yuya came out after she heard the noise, and we grabbed selendangs and camwhored. Until Shabs and Asadah called,wanting us to go to Cafe Cafe as well. At first, I decided not to, because I just got back and wanted to just sit quietly at home, so Naz went with Faisal. Not long after that, I wanted bananas so buzzed Aceng to go to the fruit stall with me. Decided to join them at Cafe Cafe and realized that Shabs coloured her hair. The same colour as her mobile. Pfft Shabs. Haha. :D :D Faisal left early, so Aceng had to bear hearing us talk about stuffs. Makeup,sales,mall,hair,etc. We went back at 1 in the morning.

Then it was Asadah's turn to colour her hair.When I got to their house, Shabs was half way through and I just finish off whats left. Was very sleepy by then, but I wanted to stay up, practically fell asleep on Asadah's bed, so Shabs made me a cup of coffee. Yes, that's how sweet Shabs is. :) Waited for Asadah to wash her hair and helped her dry her hair. It turned out nice. We could open a salon. Haha. So went back home with Naz, *bdw,their place is on the ground floor,and ours is on the fifth floor*. Naz went to bed after Isya' and everybody's still sleeping. I am trying to study Biochem. Exam's less than a month away and I am really nervous. And just so you know, I have no confidence for Anat. Nada, nil, zero. Gosh. Will have to work my way if I want to get back home.

Here's the timetable.

  • Essay : 14th May
  • Oral : 20th May
  • Essay : 28th May
  • Oral : 30th May
  • Essay : 13th June
  • Oral : 19th June
  • Essay : 25th June
  • Oral : 29th June
  • 5th June

*slaps self hard*

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I watched the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts, cause it will end
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time
You're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I’ll be the first to go, yeah, I’ll be the first to go
Don’t want to be the last to know (over, over, over)

My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
Tell me that it's over, over
Honestly tell me, honestly tell me
Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me that it's over

One text message.
One call.
One email.
One offline message.
It's all that I'm asking for.

p/s : don't leave me hanging.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

There were Frosties and Corn Flakes on the shelf, apart from Smacks. But why did I take Smacks instead?

  1. I wanted Rice Krispies, but they ran out if stock.
  2. Smacks sounded cool.
  3. Wnted to try something new,to invigorate the senses.

The results?

It tasted like burnt pecans eaten with milk.

I added slices of banana to help finish up a whole bowl of it but did it help? No.

Izzah tried and she said it tastes awful.

Pika said it tastes nice, but looks like little bugs swimming and asked me to imagine eating little bugs with milk. It being crunchy and all. -.-'' Pika finished it.

I bought a BIG box of it,and it costs me LE 30. I don't think I can finish it. Didnt mean to waste, but I just can't eat it. Will be giving Pika the cereal since she likes it.

Moral of the story, stick to cereals you know tastes good.
I hate doing the laundry.
Enough said.
I've been procrastinating to do my laundries forha the past two weeks and now its all piled up. Like piled so high, am having headache just looking at it. So decided to do my laundry. Right now. But apparently, there's LOTS that needs to be washed. Jeans, shirts,baju kurungs, bedsheet, towel, you name it. So most probably 4 rounds baru all will be done. And have I mentioned how much I ''like'' doing the laundry? I'd rather cook, iron, clean the whole house, scrub the toilet, run errands all day long or even mow the lawn. Anything, that soesn't involve having to do the laundry. It's not that I am lazy r anything, but do you know, there's just at least one thing that you just simpy do not want to do? Well,mine's doing the laundry.I wish I was back in school, where dear Mak Cik Siti was there. Early morning, before going to school, drop by my laundry at the washing room and having it washed and ironed. It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I dont like doing the laundry. And the fact that the washing machine we're using now doesn't have a spinner, bummer. 4 loads. Enough said.

Monday, March 30, 2009

To whom it may concern :
No worries, whatever it is,
No matter how tough it'll be,
No matter how depressing it can be at times,
No matter how hard it is to just follow the flow
As long as we have each other's backs,
We'll make it through somehow.
I love you guys.
You guys know who you are.
p/s : tough times don't last,tough people do. :)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Saturday, March 28, 2009

''seriously by,what's stopping you?''

saya rindu kamu lah, Cik Zarina. :(

p/s : i like this picture of you. ;)

Friday, March 27, 2009

Some things are just not worth the fight.and some are worth risking all that you have.

Days have been weird,hectic and fun. Have been talking to my mom and dad. And I sure do miss home, but am still not sure about going back to Malaysia for the summer break. Spending it in UK or somewhere else sure did cross my mind. But I haven't decided. At least not yet. Might think about it later, because thinking about it now, it drains my energy.Just realized that exam's just around the corner. *yes,do slap me hard* so am trying my best to cope with all that's happening. Trying to stay up all night with Shabs,Naz,Pika. Trying to absorb as much as our brain would let us to. But looking at piles and piles of thick, thick books, makes us wanna curl up in a ball and just slip away. At times, I do sit back and think. What if I studied hard enough for SPM,would life be easier? Should I have stayed back in Malaysia? What if I agreed to UK, how different would my life be? To be honest, I didnt dream of becoming a doctor since I was a kid, like some of the people here. And no, my parents didn't make me take up medicine. They even tried to talk me out of it. But anyhow, I know that whatever path I am taking, they'll always be there for me. Even if they don't say it to me at times, I just know. Somehow, I just woke up from bed one day and said, ''Send me to Egypt.'' And the next thing I knew, I was surrounded by a whole new environment. One I never dreamt of. Not once, in my life.

I still remember, how Pudding was worried one night and he asked me before going to bed. ''Kaklong, what if one day, I don't remember you anymore?'' Coming from a 7 year old, it should be hilarious, but it somehow occured to me as a sincere question, one that has been playing in his head for quite a while. I know how much Ayah sacrifised for me, and for us. I know how hard life has been for him, and how he wanted us to grow up with all that we needed and not wanting to spoil us. And I know how worried Mommy and Ayah is of letting me go all the way half across the globe all by myself *basically* knowing how I am. But I know this is something that I have to go through, though different from all the people I know who goes to US and having a blast. * I saw the pictures. wink wink * And I know that somehow, I can't compare myself with you guys, earning scholarships and making it all the way till now. I do look up to all of you. And how hard Atok Ipoh, Atok KL, Opah Ipoh and Atok KL worked when the days were hard and life was tough. Truly, you guys are the reason that I try my hardest to keep afloat and not drown.

And Ayah, if you're reading this *I know you eventually will*, I still keep the letter you gave me at the airport, before I boarded the plane. Though it's just a 2 page letter, it means a lot to me. A LOT. I do read it whenever I feel down, sad, discouraged or am just simply missing you. I think that's the first letter you ever wrote for me, *birthday cards don't count, Ayah. :D :D * and no matter how many times I've read it, it still touches my heart knowing how much you do care and love. I've said this many times, but I never get bored or tired saying it over and over again. You are my hero. I have always, and will always look up to you. There's no man that can compare to you. You simply are the best and I love you. And i sure miss you. More than you can ever imagine. And do remember, I will always be your little girl. The one who shares candies with you, and wears that yellow boxer. with writings at the back. *yes,i still do remember it*. Haha.Haha, emo much? May be due to unstablilised hormones during this period of the month or the sugar rush am having right now. Anyways, we'll be having Solat Hajat tonight at the rooftop and rewang las night was fun. I learnt how to make kuih keria and stayed up till 3 in the morning with Yuya and Naz making fruit jellies. Can't wait for tonight. :)

Abg Hassan went back to Malaysia for good with his wife and son, so basically am all alone now. Haha. Being dramatic. I thought of going to Alex to see them or at the airport but basically couldnt because there was a miscommunication since i thought it was next week, but turned out this week, so due to short notice, everybody's busy and going to Cairo all alone at night sounds creepy.

Talk about creepy,all we do nowadays involve creepy ghost stories and frightening sounds. All sorts of stories are being told, from real life experience, boarding school stories and even googling ghost stiroes online. The result? Scared to even look at lampposts and trees and hating the dark and having all this imaginations running wild. Like all the time, especially at night.

And Naz making creepy sounds like yesterday when we were walkin to Wekalah at midnight, and suddenly hearing a creepy-growling-hissing-moan behind your shoulder in a dark alley made my heart stopped. Seriously. If she does that again, I'll punch her. Hard.

Anyways, I gotta go. Lots of stuff to be done, my laundry's piling up, Biochemistry test next Tuesday, final's in a month. Sighs. Oh, and good luck to all fellow comrades from the Manchester program for your midsem exam on Sunday. :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Today's not a good day for me.
I don't even know why.
I feel that people are being hot and cold and it's driving me insane.
Then again.
I might be wrong.

Did lot's of thing to cheer myself up.
Buying things to make me feel better at Wekalah.
And just talking.

I miss home.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It's 2.39 in the morning and I'm still reading about erythrocyte sedimentation rate. Lots more to go and I have practical exam tomorrow at 2. Planned to stay up until 5 and sleep in till 9. Will be goint for Histo and Biochem class and all practical classes. But then, I am now having stomach cramp and I bet it'll worsen by tomorrow morning. Am now having doubts about being able to go and see jars and sit 8 hours straight in class. Will see how it goes tomorrow.

Anyways,been studying with Shabs and Naz at the living room. Yesterday, I spent the whole night reading about Pulmonary Function Tests. Tonight we studied more than we played but at times, we would be singing 90s songs and Naz cooked at 1 in the morning.We were all very sleepy by 10 that Naz made a whole jug of coffee and we finished it in less than half an hour. Shabs even brought gummy worms and we were hoping to get sugar rush so we'd be all hyper and concentrating. Pfft.

So yeah, it's freaking cold, the living room is full with books, bags, stationaries and lots of stuff to keep us awake. Naz and Shabs even you-tubed cats to keep them wide awake. Yes, thats how desperate we are to stay awake.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

kenapa awak tergamak tipu saya?
saya percayakan awak.
lebih dari yang awak tahu.
saya sayangkan awak.
lebih juga dari yang awak tahu.

ape awak cakap,saya terima.
saye pejamkan mata dan saya percaya.
sebab tak pernah terlintas dalam hati awak akan tergamak buat begitu.

kadang-kadang bile sedang berjalan,
terasa macam nampak kelibat awak di hujung sana.

bile duduk seorang diri,
teringat apa yang awak pernah cakap.

bile duduk dengan kawan-kawan.
mengharap awak masih ade dengan saya.

sekali sekala sebelum nak tidur,
rasa macam nak call awak cakap selamat malam.

bila bangun pagi,
terus tgok handphone.
ingatkan ade message dari awak.
bile tgok takde ape2,
baru saya tersedar dan terus bangun.

bila tengok sekeliling,
ade je benda yang mengingatkan kite kat awak.
kadang2 rasa mcm dengar suara awak pun ada.
rasa mcm boleh gile dibuatnye.

kawan-kawan suruh kite bangkit.
pandang depan.
jangan toleh dah.
semua bukti dah ade depan mata.
ape lagi yang saya nak?
dah takde ape2 untuk saya dari awak.

tapi kadang2,
saya toleh ke belakang jugak.
benda2 kecil tu la yang buat saya tersenyum.
bende2 kecil tu la yang saya hidup dengan bertahun lamenye.

awak sihat?
awak dah makan?
awak tak sakit lagi kan?
awak belajar mcm mane?
saya harap awak bahagia sekarang.

*da la tu.tak yah fikir dah,buat penat diri sendiri je.*

things to be done:

  • tgok smue jar for anatomy
  • claim buku anatomy kat department
  • pergi pharmacy dengan sthethoscope
  • pinjam microscope and slides for histo
  • pinjam tulang
  • bawak salinan passport and photostat more
  • unknown solutions
  • habeskan bace physio by sunday
  • past year starting sunday petang
  • jumpe amu hamdi pasal umah
  • topup italk n hotlink
  • siapkan lukisan histo
  • basuh baju
  • pergi alex next friday
  • bawak ipod pegi alex nak passkan balik
  • beli notes kat maktabah
  • bawak baju ke alex
  • hantar card for erra
saya dah pernah gembira.
saya dah pernah menangis.
saya dah pernah merangkak.
saya dah pernah berlari.

saya pernah bercinta.
saya pernah dikecewakan.
saya pernah berharap.
saya pernah putus asa.
saya pernah percaya.
saya pernah kena tipu.

saya bersuka ria.
saya kene marah.
saya dapat duit.
saya belanjakan.

tapi sekarang dah ade misi baru.
kene tunaikan walau pun susah.
saya akan cuba.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Semalam birthday kakak-kakak bulatan pintar kami,Kak Umi dan Kak Aimi. Kami plan pesta hari jadi. Izzni dengan rumah die pegi cari hadiah, kami pegi cari kek. Cari kat El-Baron lah,mane lagi.Hadiah hari jadi : jubah.Beli kat tepi Sg Nil. Kami tunggu kat Nusan smpai saya tertido. Diorang baru nak smyang asar. Setelah sekian lame,kami berkumpul dan pergi rumah diorang. Kononnye, kejutan hari lahir dari adik2. Smpai2,call Kak Aimi, mintak tolong balingkan kunci rumah. Naek atas, tunggu dalam gelap. Bile Kak Umi dtang, kitorang nyanyi. Lepas tu duduk, kitorang plan nak smyang Maghrib kat rumah, tanak menyusahkan Kak Umi sbb lagipun Kak Umi ade tuition jap lagi. Smentare tunggu musyrif, kitorang maen amik2 gambar.

Hari tu plak birthday Sabby. Ade kejutan jugak, kat Cafe2. Makan sngat sedap, lepas tu kitorang duduk smpai pukul 2 pagi, mengeratkan silaturrahim sesame kawan. :)

Lepas tu tadi menjalankan salah satu misi, study group. Dengan Yuya, Shabby. Lepas Naz makan,die pun join. Kami belajar Electrocardiogram :) Jam 12, Pika suruh siap, nak gerak ke block A. Jadi umpan untuk kejutan hari jadi Jimmy pulak. Duduk2 borak2 kat abwah, diorang baling air ngan kicap basi dari atas. Lepas tu baling tepung. And sembur campuran telur, air, kicap dan susu. Hasilnye, Jimmy snagt busuk. Lepas makan2 cake dan amik gmbar, decide nak balik. So Jimmy dan Falah hantar balik.

Sekarang ni cadangnye nak belajar. Tapi bile dah duk sorang2,segale jenis bende nak terfikir. Buat serabut kepale sendiri je. Last2,sedih sorang2. Haihh.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

to give out what we told you is one thing.
to lie in front of our faces is one thing.
to betray our trust is one thing.
but to twist and manipulate stories is another.

there is a fine line between being jealous,revengeful and hurt.

now that you got what you wanted, I hope your happy.

because I certainly am, without you.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I know I've dissapointed you more than once.
I know I've broken both your hearts more than once.
I know how high your hopes and dreams are.
I may not be the brightest star to shine among the bunch.
I may not be the one you can be proud of all the time.
But do know.
I will always give my very best.
I will always look up to you.
And I will always love you both.
Dearly,with all my heart.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers in their blog.
B. Tag 3 people to do this quiz.

1. What have you been doing recently?
Studying about Respiration.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
On board a plane.

3. What happened at 10 am today?
Just got back from class.

4. When did you last cry?
Erm. When I laughed real hard. Sometime last week I guess.

5. Believe in fate/destiny?
In a way, I do.

6. What do you want in your life now?
For things to stay the same. Pass my exams. Fly back home.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
Just put up my hood. If I'm wearing one at the moment, that is.

8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed?
Reading. Talking.

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?

10. What's the nicest thing in your inbox?
A message about getting married. I guess.

11. Do you tend to make the relationship complicated?
I am not engaged to any relationships at the moment.

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone at the moment?

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Death Race.

14. What are you proud of?
As in Now, and where I am, I would have to say Malaysia.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
Am not gonna write it down here. A text from a friend in Alexandria.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Erm. Ntah la.

17. Do you have any nicknames?

18. What does the newest text say?
Aaaaa. Something bout someone telling me bout marriage. Enough said.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
Around midnight.

20. Are you currently happy?
More like sleepy.

21. Who gives you the best advise?
My very own conscience.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?
Friends. Acquitances.

24. Is something bugging you now?
Yes. Cepat la online!

25. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Orang yang saya bercakap di phone dengan tadi.

Sorry Pika, second survey tak leh nak wat sbb nnt smue soalan pun jawapan die tinggal tempat kosong, sbb takde calon yang di fikirkan kalau nak jawab tag tu. Sorry. :D

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My class was from 8 in the morning till 6 in the evening today and by the time I got back, am drained, tired and exhausted. *exaggerated much?* Anyways,on the way back, got hit by a taxi. Again. It was only the side mirror, but i was shocked. Enough said. And I just realised that exam's just around the corner, and I don't wanna fail and have to repeat or carry any paper. So I guess I have to start working hard right away. So am gonna start studying tonight. I will. RESPIRATION. And since class starts at 11 tomorrow, I might stay up and do some studying. :) I learnt something else today. That when you get jealous or mad or pretend not to care, u actually do.

Quote Naz :

It's okay
Just because I love my parents
Doesn't mean I don't get pissed at them
It's perfectly normal
To be angry is to care.
You are angry cause you care what they say/do to you
I get pissed too sometimes
But i just think about how much i throw away if i dwell on it

So yeah, I love you. :)

p/s : thanks naz for editing my blog for me the second time. *kisses*

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

liar liar.
pants on fire.
How to Detect Lies

Become a Lie Detector

Introduction to Detecting Lies:

The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.

Warning: Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.

Signs of Deception:

Body Language of Lies:

• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.
Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.
• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.

Interactions and Reactions

• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.
Verbal Context and Content
• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”

• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In otherwords, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:
• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.
• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
Final Notes:
Obviously, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar. The above behaviors should be compared to a persons base (normal) behavior whenever possible.
or,you can just google up his name and let the pieces fit.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

17th February 2009
It's 1 in the morning and I just got back from GMN with Pika. Abg Nasir and Leya's birthday celebration. It was fun, Abg Nan made Nasi Minyak. After quite a while,baru dpat makan. Haha. Got creamed, as usual. Pak Joe siap kunci pintu tanak bagi sesiapa kluar. Then the usual, telur, cream, cake, snow spray. Luckily kene cream and spray je. No eggs. :) We excused ourselves agak awal la gak sbb was getting sleepy and Pika nak study.

And all of sudden, teringat kat Erra. I do wonder how is she coping up with studies and chores. Hope she manages well and fits in. And hope she's having fun there. I promise you sis, when I get back, I'll drive all the five hours drive on weekends to see you. To tell you the truth, I did get worried when you told me you wanted to go all the way north to Kubang Pasu. I was freaking worried. You can ask my friends. They even told you that. I know. It's not that I don't trust you, but it's just that I love you too much and maybe I still think of you as my little sister who needs me to guide you all the way through. I forgot that you have grown up, and matured beyond your years.

I admit that over the years, I have had my share of ups and downs. You've seen me doing a lot of things, some which I regret, even today. And some I want you, Afiz and Azif to achieve as well, or better than what I have achieved. Afiz, if you are reading this, I know how high you can soar. You can achieve better than me. And that IS what I want you to do. Do better than me. I had my share of fun, and somehow I think it went out of control and without knowing, I was off track. I know you have a strong willpower, stronger than mine. Stay focus and achieve what I didn't manage to achieve. Never doubt yourself, not even for a second, because I have no doubts at all that Afiz, Erra and Azif will do well in your lifes, insyaALLAH.

Do know that though at times, I might not be the best sister for the three of you. I might not be the greatest role model for you. And I might not be the one to tell you guys what to do. But do know, and always remember, that whatever it is, I will always have your backs. All three of you. And though sometimes, I may not tell you guys this, I love you. All of you. Equally. With all my heart. My prayers will always be with you. May ALLAH guide you through every step, along the way. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold or simply to just look back while you're running, I'll be there. Always.

Hugs and kisses from faraway,
Kaklong. <3

Monday, February 16, 2009

this song has been playing in my mind for quite some time now.
i don't even know why.

All i ever wanted was to love you
Girl I never meant to cause you pain
And I only have myself to blame
Now you're gone and I can't stop thinking of you
Every time I hear your name
I think of what I've done again and again
See I'm all alone tonight with just a memory
And baby you're a million miles away
I can't take another day
If I ain't got you
I ain't got anything
It just dont feel the same
If I ain't got you
I ain't got anything
Can't even feel the pain
If I ain't got you
I remember when we were together
I remember how you used to say
There's nothing I could do to turn you away
I know, I know that things have changed forever
If I look into your eyes
All I see now is tears
If I could, I would pick up teh pieces of ur broken heart
And put it back together
A nd I would, I would hold you in my arms till the burning stops
And stay right here forever.