Tuesday, May 26, 2009

In loving memory :

Allahyarham Tuan Haji Abdullah.

You will always be in my hearts and prayers.
Your strength and courage throughout the years have been my inspiration.
Your passion towards education and the nation will always be remembered.
Your love and care for us all will be cherished.
Your last words to me when you were on your deathbed is still playing on the back of my head.
Again and again.
I still remember watching you fight even when others have lost hope.
I remember holding your cold hands and whispering to you and not knowing that it was the last time you'd hear me.
The next time I saw you, less than an hour after that,you have left us all.
I couldnt cry, because a part of me was still in shock.
Along the ride back home and throughout the day,it still felt unreal.
You should be in you room, sleeping.
Or at the kitchen, having dinner.
Or at the living room, reading the newspaper.
But then, reality hit me.
I watched with my own eyes, how they brought you back in that white van.
I helped prepare the bed for you one last time.
I didn't want to see you before they brought you away.
I hate goodbyes.
But when they called me, I hesitantly approached.
Looking at your face that day, I still remember, you looked so calm.
It felt like nobody else was in the room.
And when I kissed you for the last time, I knew that was goodbye.
And when Erra moved aside after that, that was the last time we'd see you, Onyang.

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku,
Cucuri rohnya dengan rahmat dan tempatkannya dalam kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

Segala puji bagi Allah yang telah mengilangkan dukacita dari kami. Sesungguhnya Tuhan kami benar-benar Maha Pengampun Lagi Maha Mensyukuri.


Yuya and Pika's room is like our little home now.
We do basically everything in here.
Sleep, chat, eat, talk, surf the net, study.
So yeah it has become very cosy now.
You can find blankets and pillows everywhere, even on the floor.
Notes and book and highliters and laptops.
Skulls, skeletons, microscope, stetothoscope.
The funny thing is, when one of us studies, the rest will follow to.
If one of us starts to pray, everybody does the same.
One goes to the kitchen and starts cooking and the next, everyone's at the kitchen cooking too.
One falls asleep in the afternoon, all four do too.
Izzah came in because apparently studying alone made her feel sleepy.

So we have been talking and studying and laughing and basically just enjoying each other's company and mind you, we might only have less than a month left to spend with Izzah.
Among the topics we came across tonight :

  • How we can make Nasyid better and score more hits at Youtube. By inserting awesome dance moves and so everyone started making weird dance moves and we had a blast laughing.
  • Dreams and what it might mean.
  • Nabi Yusuf
  • Once everyone's back in Malaysia, the five of us will meet up and spend a whole week going out. Satay, malls, movie, camping.
  • Pika reminded me that I once told her that I wanted to spend a day at the new OU and go check out as many shops possible. Might do it with Izzah.
  • Wanted to go to Bandung but then it might be hard because apparently holiday's not that long.
  • Cheap airline tickets.
  • How to judge your own a**.
  • Exercise for the butt.
  • Romantic stories.
  • Learn Mandarin in 5 minutes.
  • Renaming names in Mandarin.
  • And without noticing, how to appreciate each other. ;)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

10 Sebab Mengapa Saya Sayang Nazeera Nasir :
  1. dia bukan sahaja cantik dan peramah, malah baik hati
  2. dia selalu buatkan mac and cheese atau egg sandwhich bila kami lapar
  3. dia tidak kisah berkongsi sayur masa makan malam
  4. dia selalu stay up dengan saya
  5. bila saya sedih, nanti die buatkan banana split
  6. dia guna syampu yang sama mcm saya
  7. saya boleh bercerita dengan dia.dia akan dengar
  8. bila balik malaysia nnt, dia nak bawa kami jalan-jalan
  9. sebab die Nazeera Nasir
  10. sebab dia buatkan blog baru ni.

p/s: saya memang sayang kamu lah nazeera.i'll pray for you and you-know-who and your finals. ;)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Being a professor with 4 PhDs and earning half a million a month doesn't make you always right and the right to make the world revolve around you.

The saying "aku dah makan garam dulu" doesnt mean that whatever you say, think or do is the best for everyone.

An old beggar who wears ragged clothes, haven't showered in god-knows-how-long, eats bits and crumbs of mouldy bread and walks bare footed with his dry cracked heels may say something wiser than a 80 year old mahaguru who is well known over whatevertopia kingdom.

When a 8 year-old kid says something to you, it doesn't mean it is of less importance.

It doesnt mean what he says is merely the thinking of an 8 year old.

People who goes to college or university may succeed in whatever major they're taking, but no guarantess they will in the school of life.

Ini bukan sindiran untuk sesiapa, it is a reminder, to myself, most importantly.

To never look at who is doing the talking, but the point he is trying to deliver.

One of the things I've learnt over the years is that to never judge a book by its cover.

Haha.Cliche I know, but it's true.

Because first impressions are not always right.


Or at least for me, that is.

Anyways Biochem exam is just 4 days away.Manchester lagi 8 hari.

Jadi bahangnya dah terasa.

Oh jantung, jangan pecah lagi.

Like this morning, when I woke up, they were all studying and it was 10 in the morning.I immediately woke up and started studying. I managed answering a question and was too sleepy to concentrate and went back to sleep. When I woke up, everone was hungry and we ordered Hadaral Maut. Yes, we asked for DELIVERY. Haha.Anyone who needs numbers for delivery, Cook Door, Mo'men, Brema, Pizza King or even Metro, call us. Haha.

Fah is at our place now, reminiscing their Maktab Mahmud days with Pika. She was doing a survey for PCM, wanting to know who is not going back for summer break. Thinking about it, I am a bit worried since the last time I checked for ticket availability online, tickets left are mainly business class. And Izzah just found out that instead of going back on the 5th, she has to go back on the 8th because the flight was fully booked. And Mommy and Ayah wants me back for Ramadhan.

And now I am having second thoughts about buying the internet modem.
Oh, and I want otak2 too.Anyone care to Fed Ex it to Egypt for me? ;)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Hari ni dah 21 Mei.
Saya tak ingat lah exact tarikh die bile.
Tapi kalau tak salah, dlam lingkungan mase ini lah bende tu terjadi.
Ingatkan bende ni hal remeh je.
Takde kesan ape2 pun.
Come on lah, orang laen senang je nak move on.
Ini mungkin belum lagi.
Cuma sekadar maen2.
Sedar tak sedar,dah setahun rupanye.
Perasaan tu dah takde.
Nak kata sakit hati, tak jugak.
Benci? Lagi lah tak.
Geram tu, ade sikit kot.
Tapi yang selebihnye mengharapkan awak sihat sekrang.
Bahagia, dpat masuk tempat yang awak nak tu.
Pergi kejar cita2 awak.
Semoga dpat apa yang di kejarkan.
Dan semoga awak sentisa dilindungi Tuhan. :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I just finished Oral Anatomy exam just now. Together with Practical Anatmomy and Written Anatomy. So basically I'm done with Anatomy *at least for now* .
Oral exam was unbelievaby. Very brief. And his first question was,
''Where did you buy your watch?''
Hearing that, I laughed and relaxed a bit. The doctor was nice. Very nice. I like him. ;)

Next paper is Written Biochemistry, on the 28th May, which means that I have a week to go all out and study Biochemistry.
Which, I will.
Yes people,
I will.

Ayah has been texting me and asking how I am since I haven't talked to them for a while. Haven't been IM'ing with Mommy and my messages on Facebook arent that long either. So I get that they are worried with what's been happening and all. I wanted to call, but somehow the internet connection has been bad and I can't call. Sorry Mommy and Ayah to worry you guys.

Since it's already May and Naz and Pika will be going back to Malaysia in June and most probably Yuya and I will be going back before Ramadhan or mid Ramadhan and will come back sometime in November, we had to find a new house because juniors are coming in and we decided not to stay at the house we're leaving at. Knocking from door to door, street by street, in the middle of summer is not our idea of house hunting, so decided to use a broker instead. We wanted a house with four bed rooms and after much persuading and argumenting, he showed us a house next to GMN. All the way up at the rooftop. Luckily they have a lift. The house is still under construction, buit it looks nice with it having tiles, a nice kitchen, nice bathroom, spacious rooms and big balcony, we agreed, even though that meant that Pika and I will be sharing the same room and the rent is 1400 LE a month. Abg Nan helped sealed the deal and while waiting for the Baba, who is a Tok Kadi, agree to rent the house with us, we were there to see a couple get married. Nothing like us Malaysians. No fancy dresses, dolled up bride,cameramen with big a*s cameras and families around. Just the couple, clad in jeans and shirt and a camera phone. InsyaALLAH will be moving in by mid June.Hope all goes well.

Ayah called the other day and talked to him for a while and then Mommy went online and chatted for a while. Dapat lah lepas rindu sikit. They want me to be back by the start of Ramadhan, tapi tak tahu lagi lah mcm mane. Tgok dulu.

''Jangan nak surprise2 Mommy ngan Ayah, balik tak nak bagi tahu.Tgok2 kitorang pergi Bandung, raya shopping ke ape, baru tahu nnt.''

Yes ma, will tell you the instance my flight ticket is confirmed. :)

Anyways, although we are all excited about going back to Malaysia and moving, I can't help but feel sad because that means that we will be leaving Izzah.

''Allah, depan block je. Bukan jauh mane pun.'' you may say. But Izzah is like a big sister we all never had. We can tell her anything. anything. And she'll be there for us, like a big sister. She cooks for us whenever we're hungry, talks to us when we're feeling down, wipes our tears when we're crying and does things that a sister would. I'll definitely miss the screaming and laughing and delivering food bile malas nak masak moments. And her. :(

Ohhh and due to exam stress, my housemates are going insane.
You would agree if you see the stuffs we say and do.
Its okay, I love them anyways. :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Happy Mother's Day
I love you.

Thanks for every single thing.
For always being there for me.
I think this is the first Mother's Day we ar
e not celebrating together.
No fancy cards.
No midnight wishes.
No dinner or lunch together.
No presents.
But it's okay,

You're always in my dreams and prayers.
You take care okay, Mommy.
I miss you.
Cliche, I know.
But you're the best mom on
e can hope for.

i've been crying a lot these past few days.
trust me, A LOT.
the other day, it was because i felt somehow very sad,down and under pressure.
then it was because i felt like someone was trying to avoid me.
and yesterday was the climax of it all.
Faisal's leaving us.
yeah,he's going back to Malaysia for good so we basicallt cried out hearts out.
and for me,somehow it felt better to let it all out.
cried for god knows how long and dah ramai yang nmpak.
after dinner ramai2,went home and decided to sleep since my head was pounding, pressure jatuh and kepale rase berat yang teramat sngat.
i went to bed at 11 but kept tossing and turning and finally did sleep at around 1.
but then i had all sorts of dreams and kept waking up and sleeping back meant another dream.
one was about faisal, about the four of us, arif, a gathering like the one we had at gmn just now, but a place i cant recall then it was something about my family back home.
waking up every hour and having weird dreams isn't exactly my idea of f good night's sleep.
rosal left me a missed call at around 2 but definitely was not in the mood to talk.
and i called him at 9.
so yeah.
by 3, i just couldnt stand it anymore and decided not to sleep.
naz was still awake, she just finished editing her blog and was all excited showing me her new layout.
but me still stoned, tired,restless and sleepy wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
it's awesome naz.i love it. :)
so yeah, arif, muaz and a few others are gonna try persuading his parents to let him stay.
or at least sit for the finals.
am really hoping he'll stay.
because he's more than a friend to us.
more like a brother.
without him,it'll be dysfunctional family-1.
things just wouldn't be the same without you.
you're like a rock we all lean on and hold on tight to.
no matter how emotionally unstable we get, you're always there to point things out to us.
it just wouldn't be the same.
what if i get my heart broken again?
what if we lose faith?
what if one day we miss you so badly?
there is just so many what if's.
i know fadzil said ' setiap pertemuan ade perpisahan',
and abg nan and azam said this might be the best for you.
but still. :(

''not anytime soon.''
''i'll wait for him at the airport when you guys come back for summer break.''
whats that suppose to mean,cye?
we need you.
i need you.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

things have been hectic.and crazy.and fun.and weird.
but things always happen for a reason.

it's always the darkest before dawn. :)