17th February 2009
It's 1 in the morning and I just got back from GMN with Pika. Abg Nasir and Leya's birthday celebration. It was fun, Abg Nan made Nasi Minyak. After quite a while,baru dpat makan. Haha. Got creamed, as usual. Pak Joe siap kunci pintu tanak bagi sesiapa kluar. Then the usual, telur, cream, cake, snow spray. Luckily kene cream and spray je. No eggs. :) We excused ourselves agak awal la gak sbb was getting sleepy and Pika nak study.
And all of sudden, teringat kat Erra. I do wonder how is she coping up with studies and chores. Hope she manages well and fits in. And hope she's having fun there. I promise you sis, when I get back, I'll drive all the five hours drive on weekends to see you. To tell you the truth, I did get worried when you told me you wanted to go all the way north to Kubang Pasu. I was freaking worried. You can ask my friends. They even told you that. I know. It's not that I don't trust you, but it's just that I love you too much and maybe I still think of you as my little sister who needs me to guide you all the way through. I forgot that you have grown up, and matured beyond your years.
I admit that over the years, I have had my share of ups and downs. You've seen me doing a lot of things, some which I regret, even today. And some I want you, Afiz and Azif to achieve as well, or better than what I have achieved. Afiz, if you are reading this, I know how high you can soar. You can achieve better than me. And that IS what I want you to do. Do better than me. I had my share of fun, and somehow I think it went out of control and without knowing, I was off track. I know you have a strong willpower, stronger than mine. Stay focus and achieve what I didn't manage to achieve. Never doubt yourself, not even for a second, because I have no doubts at all that Afiz, Erra and Azif will do well in your lifes, insyaALLAH.
Do know that though at times, I might not be the best sister for the three of you. I might not be the greatest role model for you. And I might not be the one to tell you guys what to do. But do know, and always remember, that whatever it is, I will always have your backs. All three of you. And though sometimes, I may not tell you guys this, I love you. All of you. Equally. With all my heart. My prayers will always be with you. May ALLAH guide you through every step, along the way. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold or simply to just look back while you're running, I'll be there. Always.
Hugs and kisses from faraway,