You know what I don't get?

The fact that when you're in a relationship, your partner tends to treat you like crap and not give their 100% when we are giving 150%.

And they let us go like it's the easiest, possible thing to do and we cry our hearts out for days and they just couldn't care less.

And when we finally have the strength and courage to actually move on and is ready to bury and let the past go, they come to us, trying to fix things, giving 101 excuses why we should give them a second chance.

Saying things like 'I just realized that I am still so madly in love with you' and 'I just can't seem to forget you', 'I was a jerk and I should've realised sooner' is not enough.

Do you honestly think that by saying that, the world is a much happier place for both you and me? Sometimes, the good things in life don't come twice. You only have one shot at it. It's either you give it your best shot and take a risk or you lose it and just keep living with the 'if only I had's.

If I could choose one song to express how I feel at this very exact moment, it would be Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne. Word by word. I wish things weren't as complicated. :(

Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne

1. Current addiction :
Twinkies and Orange Juice.

2. I don't have much to say, been busy and all's just not going as planned. Bab*tuuuuuuut*.

3. But am glad that my parcel is here. Thank you Mommy and Ayah :) And Abg Din and Abg Faiz too.

4. Ada peribahasa baru. ''Janggut yang panjang jangan disangka baik'' Baba tak bagi pindah. Padanlah muka kena bayar bil entah berapa. Tengok-tengok bulan depan 800. Terbang lagi duit. -___- Oh and yay me for sticking to the I-won't-ask-for-money-even-when-I-don't-have-any. It's not easy, trust me.

5. I hate it when I get upset and tired and cranky, not only because it makes me look ugly-er, but also because then people might think that I am sombong and not wanna be friends with me. :S

6. And stop wanting to restart my laptop for updates dammit, I'm using it now! Urgh. Don't blame me, blame the hormones. Pffft.

It's only 1.48 in the morning and only God knows how tired I am.
Exam's are around the corner so everyone is working their you-know-what off right now.
Trying to catch up with a year's worth of workload and what not.
I'm so tired, that I have never thought my cheap bed and very thin mattress could be any more comfortable than it is now.

Sighs. Work hard, you lazy one.
Kata nak balik rumah and enjoy and beli barang and jumpa orang and what not.
*Images and thoughts of things I can do, places I can go and people I can see flashing in my mind*

I hope I can go to Cairo for just a day and watch Clash of the Titans in 3D version and eat Cinnabon and drink coffee.

And....

Happy Birthday to My Dearest Darling Sister, Fiza Azzirra.

You're 14 now, which means its time to grow up, but still be able to enjoy the little things in life. I pray and I wish for your health, for you to be able to maintain your excellent track record, that God gives you true love, happiness and wealth and for Him to guide you with your every step. Remember that I love you, and I will always be here for you. Have a good day sis, you deserve it! :)

Orang mcm makin lama makin takde kerja.
Tadi tgh duduk layan perasaan sorang-sorang, terdengar cerita pulak.
A rumor has been going around for a while now.
Fitnah tu pulak, tak berasas langsung.
Kira mcm kalau orang tu betul-betul kenal kitorang, confirm akan gelak smpai pecah perut and go 'hak ela, kau ni biar betul'.
The best part would be that the genius who created it and the one who spread it, mcm tak kenal kitorang.
Padahal time kau susah, pandai pulak kau cari kitorang minta tolong.
Now, you might feel like you're on top and you're enjoying the view from up there.
But remember dear friend, you won't be on top for long, that's just how the cycle is.
And bila dah smpai part nak minta tolong tu, sorry.


Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us.


Btw, malas lah nak amik kisah apa jadi sekeliling.
Why give satisfaction to these idiots who obviously enjoys attention and destruction in a community?
I'd prefer to drink a cup of hot coffee and just study since the finals are so close, I could literally hear my heart beat faster as I type.
Please, spare me all the drama.
Aku nak naik tahun diam-diam pun susah sangat ke? Sighs.


Biar lah apa orang nak buat, bak kata orang, mulut orang, kita tak boleh nak tutup, kan?
So, kita doakan je lah yang terbaik buat kita.
Just pray that God gives us strength and courage, for only He knows the reason behind every thing that is happening.

It is always the darkest before dawn.

A quote I came across once before when I was younger and I still tell myself this every time I feel like the world is turning its back against me.


Oooh, and maybe hang out with the very few friends I have and have a good laugh so that we would still be sane enough to enjoy Malaysia and all its heavenly wonders during summer break.


Who's with me on this?


*plugs in earphone**turns on iPod**study smpai mengantuk*

Baru balik househunting, rasa nak demam. Memang dah ala-ala demam sebenarnya. Baru ingat nak tidur, tapi ada benda lain yang lebih interesting. Lepas baca, telinga terus panas. Tak tau lah sejuk sbb demam ke sbb marah.

I have been through this a hell lot of times and I am starting to get very sick and annoyed of this. However, I am gonna try and keep my composure and write this post with simple words so that everyone can fucking understand this.

Look around you. What do you see? Do you see everyone wearing niqabs, having long beards and walking around with a tasbih? No. Do you see everyone wearing short skirts and skinnies and exposing their body parts to others? No. So, basically not everyone is the same. Yes, some people might be born and raised to a very strict Muslim family who holds all the principles of Islam dear and lives life the way they should.

BUT some don't. Some has bas been raised in an entirely different social circle and has been instilled with different values. Kalau awak dari kecik dari sekolah agama, smpai ke besar, kawan-kawan pun dari kelompok orang yang sama, bagus lah. Tapi tolong ingat, latar belakang awak dengan latar belakang orang lain tak sama. Bukan bererti orang tu lagi teruk dari awak. Sapa awak nak judge iman seseorang? Tak semestinya kalau awak berpurdah berserban 24 jam, awak tu comfirm masuk syurga, lepas dari azab Tuhan dan orang yang tak seperti awak tu tak.

Okay lah, fine, awak nak sebarkan dakwah? Nobody's telling you not to, but please mind your words. Bukan kitorang tak hafal Quran, kitorang tak tahu adab berdakwah mcm mana. Kalau awak berguru smpai ke ulama paling hebat dunia pun, kalau cara awak nak berdakwah tu salah, smpai sudah takde siapa akan dengar dan apa-apa yang awak ckp tu mcm menuang air ke daun keladi, masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan.

Everybody has their own pride and ego. Every single one. Please don't think only yours matter. Awak terkejut tgok orang tak pakai tudung, rmbut warna-warni? Habis awak tgok orang tu tak terkejut tgok orang pandang perempuan terus tunduk istighfar? Sama je lah ceritanya. Bagus awak nak dakwah dengan orang, I admire that, please pat your back. Tak smua orang ada kekuatan untuk berdakwah, tapi kalau nak berdakwah dengan mengaibkan orang lain, apebende tu?

Ni nak tegur perempuan tak pakai tudung pergi jerit2 dari tingkat 6 di kawasan orang ramai. Apa perasaan orang yang di tegur tu? Do you honestly feel that they will be ashamed of themselves and would want to change? Harapan lah weh. Tu memalukan orang namanya. Lagi orang tu sakit hati and menyampah, ada lah. Dah lah awak tu lelaki, tak rasa ada cara lain yang lagi elok? Kat situ kan ramai orang, ustazah-ustazah pun ramai. Mintak lah tolong salah seorang ustazah tu tegurkan, diorang pun ada lah cara nak tegur. Nak tegur pakaian tak sesuai, mulakan dengan 'awak rasa awak mati mcm mana?' Bila ada TERdengar cerita, terus post blog maki hamun kutuk orang tu. Padahal benda yang di ckpkan tu tak betul pun. Kan ke fitnah tu lagi besar dosanya dari membunuh? Yes, saya pun tahu sedikit ilmu agama.


Konon nak ckp awak tu orang alim, tapi kalau apa yang awak bawa kepada masyarakat bukan lah pembangunan atau kebaikan, tapi lebih kepada memecahbelah dan melaga-lagakan sesama saudara sendiri. Kalau betul niat awak baik, awak bukan nya ajak kawan-kawan gang awak merejam orang yang bukan dlam kumpulan tu. Instead, berbaik-baik sesama manusia, baru lah boleh nak tegur elok2. Kalau mcm tu, orang yang di tegur pun boleh menerima dengn hati terbuka. Yang di tegur pun tercapai hasrat di hati nak menegur.

Ingat, zahir seseorang tak melambangkan siapa dia yang sebenarnya. Orang tu mungkin nampak tak sebaik mana, tapi ilmu dan iman dia, Tuhan je yang tahu. Husnu zon, *sorry tak reti nak eja* maksudnya berprasangka baik kepada orang lain. Ni masa Akhlak darjah 5 dah belajar. Benda-benda kecil macam ni pun patut kita terapkan dalam kehidupan seharian. Bukan dengan qiamullail setiap malam smpai tak cukup tidur, tapi bila tgok orang je, 'mesti si polan ni mcm ni, si polan tu pulak mcm ni'. Cuba kita pegang resam padi, makin byak isi, makin tunduk menyembah Bumi. Bukan baru berguru sedikit dah nak pergi ke hulu hilir tunjuk salah orang. Yang membezakan manusia dan binatang adalah akal untuk berfikir. Kalau kita tak gunakan akal tu untuk berfikir, apa beza kita dengan binatang?

Yang baik itu datang dari Allah, dan yang buruk itu datang dari saya. Maaf kalau bahasa agak kasar, dan buat siapa-siapa yang terasa, minta maaf. Post ini tak ditujukan kepada sesiapa secara khusus. Siapa makan cili, dia yang terasa pedasnya.

You know it's already summer now because :

1. You feel thirsty all the time, and the cooler the water is, the better. Or you can make it an ice-blended or a fruit juice.

2. The boats in Sikkah are back.

3. You wear shorts and even the sight of winter coat/sweater makes you go dizzy.

4. The first thing you want to do in the morning is take a long,cold shower and you just wanna sit in the bath tub in the evenings.

5. Going out in mid-day without shades = first degree suicide.

6. It's 12 at night and the streets are still busy.

7. The littlest things piss you off and somehow, your patience level has been lowered to a whole new level.

8. Studying in the afternoon os unquestionable.

9. Your face becomes oily easily, you sweat after less than half an hour outside, you need to was your hair everyday and you get headaches easily.

10. It's hot, hot, hot, hot and getting hotter by the minute. And our fan's not working, perfect!


What-I-wish-would-fall-down-from-the-sky-but-would-never-happen-so-I-can-keep-on-dreaming :

1. An air-conditioned room.

2. Unlimited access to cold juices and ice-blended frappucinos.

3. Going out with shorts, or at least three-quarters.

4. A mouth-watering banana split with ice-creams, and bananas and those wafers and love letters.


7 more days to exam, better put your head together now.

p/s : I is in the mood to head down to the beach, anyone?

I was talking *talking meant long comments on facebook, yes, I do that* to Sarah and we were talking about breakfast when I realized, I have a box of Fruit Loops I bought months ago and did not finish because it did not taste fruity enough and another box of Gold Flakes I would probably finish in months' time because it has nuts. And boleh tak perasan? Motherfather. So I end up eating Twinkies for breakfast.

And one more thing that I have just realised, my brain is turning its small little backless back on me. I have very short attention span when it comes tu studying and it absorbs every little information I do not need like 'oooh, her bag's pretty' or 'I like his hair', instead of informations that should be glued to my brain for at least another 3 months like Anatomy and Physiology. -____-

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here.
Warm southern wind, blow softly here.
Green sod above, lie light, lie light.
Good night dear heart, good night, good night.
<3