Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dear Y,

I was honestly true to whatever we had and I hope you did too. But obviously, this is all just another lie we both led. I expected honesty from you because that was what I was giving you. All that I have done reflected how deeply I cared for you and how grateful I am that I found you. I believed all that you said, never doubted even a word and was ready to give you my hand whenever you needed it. You told me everything, or at least that was what I thought and not even once I felt like shutting you out, no matter what you told me. You knew I would always be there for you, and I think, you even believed that there was no end to it.


I remember you telling me that you know me so well, sometimes even I don't know myself that well. You were an important person in my life, someone I looked up to, someone I expected to always be there for me no matter what and someone who honestly cared. When something's not right, you always knew, I didn't even have to say anything. But obviously, things aren't the way they were anymore.


You think I'm just being dramatic, silly and what-not when all I want is for you to wake up from all this games you've been playing and start doing the right thing before things get out of hand and it would be too late. Yes, I am mad at you. And I know all you think right now is that I am doing whatever I am because me being me, I follow my own consciense. And I honestly believe that you feel that this would go on only for a few days, and that I would be running back to you in just a matter of time. You think that you have to make things right and say what everyone wants to hear so that things will fall back in place. Or maybe, you just don't need me anymore.


I am not going to say this in your face, because right now, you are just too stucked up leading this fun life of yours without realising all the people who truly care about you, and that you are going to hurt them deeper than you can ever imagine. You feel that things are heading in your direction, but you forgot that you don't know what might be ahead. When it's too late, there's no looking back. People have feelings. When they get hurt, over and over again, nothing you can say or do, at that time can make it go away.


So please, all I am asking right now is just for you to take a minute, sit down and really look at what's happening around you. Is this the life that you want to lead? Are these the people you really want to be with? Have you started believing in all the lies you tell? Right now, you have no idea how much you've hurt me. There's no respect left for you. Every single word you say, makes me think. Did you really mean it? Or are you just saying it because it seemed to be the right thing to say? But I still have a bit of hope and faith left deep down inside. That soon, you will have the courage to stand up and start putting the pieces to where it belongs. If you still need me at that time, all you have to do is let me know. I will be there for you. But if you do not need me right now, there's nothing I can do. I have my own life to lead too, with or without you. I cant stay and watch you destroy yourself bit by bit, knowing that there's nothing I can do about it. For now, I will leave the scene, but remember if you ever need me again, I will be there with open hands.


Prove yourself. Prove to everyone that you are not who they think you are now. Prove me wrong.



Love.

3 comments:

mstraysm said...

haha. by,'dear y' aku yang terasa :P
hahaha. xpe,aku faham and i know who :)

azwa said...

haha. sorry2, penggunaan huruf y was random. :)

Anonymous said...

waaaaa,,, exam will coming .. every bodies psycho... hOhHo.. emo.. huhuh